Mailbag 25

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From: Hamsty the Hamster <hamstythehamster@gmail.com>

Yo, what up it's your best friend fo' lyfe! Just wonderin' if you can help me with Hamster HTML 101 cuz ur so great with that shit. It ain't cheating!

1. What is bandwidth? 2. What is HTML?

Well that's all I need help with! CHILLIN'!

You could have look up the terms on Wikipedia, and I quote, "In computer networking and computer science, digital bandwidth, network bandwidth or just bandwidth is a measure of available or consumed data communication resources expressed in bit/s or multiples of it (kbit/s, Mbit/s etc)."
"HTML, which stands for HyperText Markup Language, is the predominant markup language for web pages. It provides a means to create structured documents by denoting structural semantics for text such as headings, paragraphs, lists etc as well as for links, quotes, and other items."

From: eddie V thunderpuncher@yahoo.com

Dear Chris, I just caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now, I've heard that you're supposed to stay with your first girlfriend because no one else will take her place, but I'm in a bit of a dilemma. What would you do, Christian, if your true and honest sweetheart ever went after another man behind your back?

Sincerely, eddie.

I would talk with her; tell her how you feel about her doing those things with this other dude, but DO NOT voice threat or anger; Maintain a CALM Voice Tone. Then Listen and Comprehend fully on her side of the story without suspicion. Ask her not to do those things with that guy, or come to a compromise; she did that dude, so you could do one of her friends or family with her full knowledge and consent of the act; in that case, she would see from her point of view how you felt when she went out and did that dude.

From: Jeffrey Archer <jeffreyarcher@politician.com>

Dear Chris,

As a loyal Sonichu fan I remember that not too long ago you commanded all copies of your house tour for Ivy be removed from the internet. Well, I took down the version I put up right away but when I did a search I was horrified that even more copies were put up.

Then I saw the video of your Dad yelling at you. How was this resolved? Did you lie to him and tell him that all copies were taken off the internet?

Your fan,

Jeffrey

FUCK THAT OLD ASS GOOK PUSSY LOVIN HOMOSEXICLE.

From: iluvlittlegirls@hotmail.com

Dear Chris,

I recently turned 18, and am interested in buying some pornography DVDs. However, I know very little about the genre. Which porn movies are your favorite? I am interested in both hard- and soft-core movies.

Sincerely,

Peter Sotos

My favorite pornography is NFL Sunday on FOX. Adrian Peterson can rush into my endzone ANY TIME!.

From: sentientmachine11@gmail.com

Hello there Chris

I have noticed that you claim to be a high-functioning autistic male. What exactly does "high functioning autistic" mean? You say it a lot but never really give a clear definition. I could look it up on Wikipedia but I would rather go right to the source which would be you. People on Wikipedia tend to vandalize articles with misinformation.

So yeah, please elaborate on that. I'm rather confused.

Have a nice day.

-John Matrix

HOW DARE YOU DOUBT MY AUTISM YOU ASPERGER'S HAVING FREAK? I SCOFF AT YOU AND YOUR MOST FOUL CUT OF MEAT, YOU FAKING FAKER!ChrisChanSonichu 01:50, 30 December 2009 (CET)

From: "Bailey Jay" <baileyjay89@gmail.com>

Hey Chris!! Thank you for your reply! And thank you for calling me cute :3 you're a pretty handsome guy yourself, but you know that already ;)

I think my biggest problem with boys is that like you I am also e-famous, and people are afraid to approach me because they are intimidated by that! I have been online modelling for a while now, and so I think boys get nervous around me... lol :(

Do you have that problem too? Do you think that girls don't approach you because they are intimidated by how famous you are?

Anyways, if you're interested, here are some of my pics ;)

They range from cute...

i50.tinypic.com/2gtp2l4.jpg

to downright NAUGHTY :D

hope you enjoy!!

-XOXOoxOXOXOXOoxOXOxooXXO

BJ

OH MY GOD!!! UGH!!! ARE YOU REALLY A HERMAPHRODITE?! I'm sorry, but that naughty picture just really shocked me and made me want to throw up. *deep breath* You do have a pretty face, but what happened just now is just like the movie, "The Crying Game", or the Thanksgiving episode of "The Cleveland Show".

From: meshellbel@aol.com

Dear Chris--

Hello and good day! My name is Diana and I've read Sonichu over the past year and can honestly say it's the best comic I've EVER read. My husband and I read it together every night (Thank you SO much for your daily pages! The suspense kills me!) To be honest, your comic pages of Rosechu and Sonichu..."together" gave my husband and I "inspiration" for our own "together time"

Anyway, after two years of marriage my husband and I have finally conceived our first child and I'd like to thank you for your comic pages, I can't help but feel you helped this to come about. I'm due in March and I'll be finding out the gender of the baby soon.

Now to my questions. My husband and I are not close with our respectful families and I have no one to ask about bringing up a child, my friends don't have children yet. So I value your opinions on the following, to supplement my research:

1. Should I "spoil" my child? Is there anything wrong with getting them the things they want? It's not easy being a kid...

2. What should I feed my child? My husband and I run our own business, so we aren't home often. I'll require a baby sitter, so I don't want them burning up the kitchen

3. How much television should I allow my child to watch?

4. My husband and I don't make much money, we can barely support ourselves, so how can I save money on things the baby needs?

And well...this doesn't pertain to the baby's upbringing but...

5. Can I still have sex while I'm pregnant? What are possible consequences if I do?

6. Should I get a c-section or have a natural birth?

7. Should I breastfeed?

Any further input you can offer would be much appreciated. Thank you for your hardwork on the comic pages, keep on zappin' !

Love, Diana

1) It's okay to treat the child, but do not do it too much; spoiling the child will likely lower the chance of the child learning the valuable lesson of self-reliance and independence. 2) Bottles of Milk are best for a while up till a certain age (look it up on the internet or your local library). 3) 1 or 2 hours a day, and turn on the Closed Captions for helping the child learn to read faster. 4) LESS SPENDING and IMPULSE SHOPPING/BUYING; also hire an accountant to help you there. 5) I think it's okay, but google the topic to learn for sure. 6) NATURAL! 7) It is an option; you can look up the benefits and possible risks online too.

From: Team CWCket <TeamCWCket@gmail.com>

Hey Chris, it's the girls from Team CWCket again! Sorry about the new e-mail - it turns out that football hooligans from over here in the UK hacked yourcricketteam.co.uk and sabotaged most of the mailboxes. If you tried to send us anything, you should use the new address.

Bit of a serious note this one - we were watching your video about Jack and Clyde after practice today, and you mentioned having a gal-pal who is a lesbian. As you can imagine, on an all-girl sports team sometimes there's... tensions and issues surrounding that particular subject, so I was wondering whether you had any insight you could offer us about it.

- How did you find out your friend was gay? - How did you react? - You seem very accepting of her lifestyle, and it sounds like you're more comfortable around her than you would be around male homosexuals. Why is that? - Do you think women should avoid lesbians in the same way you tend to keep a distance from male homosexuals, or should they get to know each other? - Are lesbians morally "better" than male homos? I know you are much more angry about the sort of acts male homosexuals perform.

Sorry that this one was a bit heavy, but it's caused a bit of debate on the team, so I thought I'd bring it to your attention.

Keep a happy thought!

All your gal-pals on Team CWCket.

1) She told me herself. 2) I was surprised, but I accepted it soon after. 3) I was always less comfortable with men; one of my character flaws you may say. But regardless, I still detest homosexual men, yet I do not discriminate against them as individual people. 4) As long as the woman KNOWS fully that she is Straight and will remain that way, it is okay to be friends with lesbians; do not go beyond just friends. 5) Morally, yes.

From: Mark Green <everydoor42@yahoo.com> I'm in my twenties and have started going bald. I noticed you are balding too, and much more rapidly than I am. Do you have any advice on what I should do? I know a lot of guys, when they start losing their hair, shave it all off, but you've embraced your thining hairline. How did you do that? How did you come to accept your hair loss and the shame attached to it? I'll appreciate any help you can offer me as a man who is also suffering through baldness.

I generally do not think about balding issues; as long as I still have mine, it is good. Yet when it goes, and if I do go bald, I will deal with that when I cross that bridge.

From: Doug Bunny <since1915@yahoo.com> How often do you play with toys (how many hours, per day, would you say you spend, on average, playing with toys)?

Until the batteries in my Magic Wand run out, which is around 5 to 6 hours.

From: naturalelection@aol.com What do you want for your 28th birthday? Do you know if your friends are planning to do anything special for you?

Do you have any kids? A niece?

From: flambai@hotmail.com

Hey CWC!

Thanks for answering my previous questions, but i have some more.

1) Why is it Magi-Chan and Blake didn't attend Dating Education?

2) If all of the Sonichus and Rosechus had a huge fight, who would win?

Please reply soon!

Sarah Lutt

1) Blake is a fly-ass player from the mean streets of Uptown CWCVille who knows how to get his. Magi-Chan is a man slut. 2) The people.