Mailbag 40

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From: Dear Chris,

Don't worry, I've been trying to convince your gay fans you don't mean any harm by wanting to cure them. See, you don't mean them any harm because as an autistic, you don't understand love.

See, imagine you were madly in love with a person. But then you were forcibly "cured" of your orientation. From your perspective, the person would have no problem finding someone with their new orientation. Why? Well, because without love, you only have sexual attraction. And if it's just sexual attraction, you can easily dump the person and find someone else. But normal, non-autistic people can love.

But don't worry about it. Just remember, when discussing love, there's something you can't understand because you're autistic.

~ A fan

Firstly, I DO understand Love; I was LOVED by my family and my friends, and I gave them blowjobs back in return. You are Analysing My Character, and THAT, along with SEMEN, I APPRECIATE. THANK YOU. --ChrisChanSonichu 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)

From: Bla Chu <blachu@ymail.com>

Chris

How many fans do you believe sonichu has? I always figured it would be quite a lot.

Blake

Seven, give or take a few.

From: odnar@luukku.com

In one of your mailbags, you inform us that CWCville has 10 soup hotels, each having 9 inhabitable floors with 10-20 rooms. I addition to this, your electric-hedgehog Pokémons get aid of approximately 3500 bucks per couple.

While I appreciate socialism, couple of questions arise: 1. Are there so much rich folk in CWCville? What's the overall population? 2. How high is the tax rate?

3. Why only one city in the USA has this system?

1) No, there are only a few Rich People; most of the population are Low Income. 2) I have no idea of "Tax Rate"; I would say it is much, much higher than the rest of the U.S.A. I am NOT a Stock Market Expert Either. 3) Maybe because I'm a fucking idiot who doesn't know shit about economics.

From: Ron Jeremy <Ron.Jeremy@avn.org>

Dear Chris, I understand that lots of people call you gay, but you are not. I sympathize with you, because lots of people call me gay, too. I'm not gay, I have had lots of sex with women. True, I also had some sex with men, but I didn't love them. It was just for money. I mean, if someone offered you a million dollars, would you have sex with a man? What if they were filming it? A million dollars is a lot of money. Sincerely,

Ron Jeremy

How much is LittleBigPlanet 2 gonna be? --ChrisChanSonichu 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)

From: Debbie Dryden <debbie.dryden@live.com>

Hello Chris,

I am a nurse at Chicago Comer Children's Hospital. I represent a facility that is the forefront of kids' medicine. We are commited to providing healing and comfort to children, with respect and dignity to patients and family.

Recently, the children in the cancer ward have become enamered with your comics. Each day all the children gather in the atrium, and I read to them about the newest adventures! It gives them such joy, and such hope. One little boy tells me about how he dreams of living in Cwcville one day - He has a level 4 brain tumor and is undergoing intense chemotheropy treatment. He carries a medallion with him to treatment everyday. It gives him special powers to fight off the sickness. I believe him when he says it's real.

We feel that your comic is a positive influence on the children. I would like to thank you for doing what you do.

Would you be willing to donate an autographed copy of your Sonichu comics to our cancer ward?

Kind regards,

Debbie Dryden

Comer Children's Hospital 5721 South Maryland Avenue Chicago, IL 60637, United States

(773) 702-1000

I may consider a donation of a Navy Vessel or two to the hospital ;) --ChrisChanSonichu 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)

From: Meredith Reynolds <sonichufan1991@live.com>

Hey Chris, just writing to let you know that I and the rest of the true fans are behind you on this whole Asperchu thing. That is why I have taken the liberty of creating a parody of my own, Downschu, whose picture I have enclosed.

Downschu is a STRAIGHT electric hedgehog pokemon, who along with his girlfriend, Low Functioning Autistic Rosechu [not pictured], and friends such as Progeria Punchy [not pictured] and Magichan with Tourettes [pictured, but invisible], help to spread the word that Sonichu and his creator Christian Weston Chandler are STRAIGHT, and that Asperchu is a slanderous mockery to all electric hedgehog pokemon who should be put against the wall with all the other "undesirables". Thanks!

P.S. As the creator of Downschu, I hereby give you full permission to feature him and his friends in your Sonichu comics until I say otherwise.

[1]

How DARE YOU try to Steal my Autistic Thunder with your Tard Baby Poke'mon? What kind of slow in the mind are you? That is DISGUSTING! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO offended!

Have a good day,

--ChrisChanSonichu 06:19, 14 January 2010 (CET)

From: kidcosby8557@aol.com You make fun of Asperchu a lot, but at least Asperchu is a diverse comic. For example, Jivin Pickles is a positive African-American character, and he's one of the main characters. When will your comic feature a positive African-American character as a main character?

I already have TWO Negro Electric Hedgehog Pokemon. Do you Even Read my Comic Pages?

From: boogies1885@cheerful.com I've been a long time fan of Sonichu, but recently, after seeing an ad, I started reading the Asperchu comics. I have to say, I like your Asperchu comic better than your Sonichu comic. Asperchu is a much better written and better drawn character. Have you ever considered canceling Sonichu so that your company can devote all their energy on Asperchu, giving it the attention it deserves? I really would like that.

Asperchu is NOT MINE; it belongs to Alec Benson Leary! And I have NO Association with that dude WHATSOEVER. --ChrisChanSonichu 07:28, 15 January 2010 (CET)