Mailbag 45

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From: Hamsty the Hamster <hamstythehamster@gmail.com> Seriously. Fans from 10 years ago have grown up. Maybe you should too.

"Peanuts" fans still enjoy Charles Schultz's work and praise him although he has been dead for almost ten years now but that's basically a moot point because at least Peanuts was original.

From: Mike Hawke <fail2comply@live.co.uk>

Hey Chris,

Would you sell all of your games and toys, if it will guarantee you'll get a girlfriend?

Hell no, I am a hopeless manchild.

From: Mike Jackson <mikejackson113@hotmail.com>

Chris,

I need you now more than ever. I need you to do a shoutout in your video for my son Mike Junior. He has run away with the prostitute that I hired for him a week ago. He'd told my wife and I that it was a love match, but we didn't believe him. Now they are on the run to Vegas where they are going to get married- my son has a fake ID and is going to use that to pretend that he's 18. Can you ask him to come home? We promise that we won't run his girlfriend away as long as he comes back.

Also, my wife is concerned about the language you are using to the writers of Asperchu. She says that it is way too harsh for our children and because the kids are already so upset, she has made me stop reading your comics to our children.

Sincerely,

Mike

P.S.- MIKE JUNIOR COME HOME! ALL IS FORGIVEN!

I didn't make a video for him because I'm an insensitive prick.

From: Billy MC <billymcbigmac@gmail.com>

Hello Chris, I am a big fan of you and Sonichu. I am writing to ask you if you ever worry about the Hamburglar stealing your McDonald's food. My mother takes me to McDonald's quite a lot and whenever I am there I am always sure to look around for the Hamburglar because you never know where he might be lurking, waiting to snatch away your Big Mac and fries! Speaking of McDonald's, you and the Grimace share many similarities. I believe he might be High-Functioning Autistic too! Love,

Billy MC

I am a fag with the mind of a 7-year-old, therefore, yes I always guard my burgers from the Hamburglar.

From: Faye Dexter <ecksdeexter@gmail.com> Dear Chris, most of your fans that are still reading are ADULTS and we demand to be treated as such! You lost most of your underage fans with the sex storylines(even censored, most parents don't let that kind of thing fly) so I suggest that there be more MATURE storylines with gore and violence. Games rated M usually have gore in them and those are rated M for MATURE. TV-MA is for MATURE AUDIENCES and usually has gore and violence. So could you include those in the comic so your adult audience doesn't feel like they're reading a baby comic for babies?

THERE ARE PANTY-SHOTS. THIS IS AN ADULT COMIC, YOU TROLLIN STUPID.

From: Andrew Rinker <ffa_chewster@yahoo.com> I'm just wondering why you were so rude in your response to the final question in mailbag 43 (from Keith Keithson). All he did was present an in depth, well thought out argument. Is that how you respond to any argument you do not agree with? Wouldn't it be better to actually attempt to refute his claims? All you are doing with your response is showing that you have no evidence to refute his claims, and are therefore conceding that they are, in fact, the truth. No disrespect intended, I'm just curious why you don't simply take the time to present your own counterpoints to his, rather than just telling him to "go f*** yourself". That's very rude, and only serves to portray you in a negative light.

I think this piece of paper copyright registration is evidence I TOTALLY OWN THE COPYRIGHT and if Sega tries to sue me I'll just give them the paper and it'll be a-okay. I'm also a dipshit with no idea what copyright law is.

From: Bernardo Garcia <garciscinq@gmail.com> So let me get this straight, you are saying people who don't like your comic series are mentally underdeveloped and have poor taste?

People in my community tell me my art is great because I'm autistic and if they don't tell me I suck I will cry and sue them for discrimination.

From: Trap Master

Dear Chris

You've said you don't want to remove Simonla from the comics because it would be taking away Wild's girlfriend. It's wrong to put Wild's, a FICTIONAL character, feelings ahead of a real person. Leaving Simonla in your comics is hurting Evan, stop being a monster and do the right thing.

You are right; I am a complete cunt.

From: Manfred Eicher <m.eicher@gmail.com>

Hey Chris,

I am a volunteer with the German Red Cross and I am currently in Haiti helping to bring people's lives back to normal. It's grueling work. It's hot and some people still can't get clean water and food. Although your poster is nice, it won't get things done here. If you really want to help, it often makes a big difference when celebrities donate large sums of money which they encourage people to match. You may have already done this and if you have, you should announce it. Alternatively, if you were to volunteer to come to Haiti and put some elbow grease into the project, it might encourage others to do the same. It would go a lot further than a poster and we would really appreciate the help.

Best regards,

Manfred

I don't donate to those dirty niggers! They'd just spend the money on drugs and hookers.

From: Brianna Ricaud <bricaud75@gmail.com>

Chris, in your reply to my mail you claimed that you always censor adult stuff from your comics and that images were "tricked from you".

Let me remind you that it was YOU that took those pictures. It was YOU that drew a NASTY, PORNOGRAPHIC picture of you MOLESTING your best friend Megan. No one forced you.

You have proved that you're a liar and a hypocrite and you have lost another fan. Alec has never lied and he doesn't do cowardly things and then deny them.

Good riddance,

Brianna

I suffer more in life because I'm a dumbass slow in the mind and Alec is an awesome person. SO THERE.

From: Cpt. Wyvern <masterwyvern@googlemail.com> Why do you always criticise the Asperchu comics for being poorly drawn? Your art style isn't too great too, y'know, you don't have much room to criticise others.

You know what, YOU'RE RIGHT

From: Gil Gerard <gilsemailaddy@yahoo.com>

As a fan of your comic, recently I've been feeling insulted by the things you've been saying to us. In your mailbags, you've been calling us hypocrites and mentally devolved, and you've been slashing and ignoring a lot of good questions from your mailbags for no reason. This is no way to be treating your fans. You seem to want us to worship you like you're God or something, and you seem to not be able to maturely handle criticism.

I noticed that other comic artists will actually answer the letters they get. I know you don't like that Leary guy, but at least he answers emails and treats his fans with respect. I hope you do the same before you lose all of your fans.

--Gil

FUCK YOU, I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU, YOU BITCH! Sigh, your comment stressed me out SO MUCH that I just HAD to shit myself. Thanks a lot, nigger spic jewfaggot. At Least I give every one of my letters full reading time and thought. --ChrisChanSonichu 02:31, 27 January 2010 (CET)