Mailbag 5

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From: Lietenant Surge <lt_surge_1776@fsmail.net>

Dear Chris,

I've been a long-time fan of your series, it's one of the few comics I'll allow my children to read as it promotes straight Christian values.

I'm becoming concerned at how you portray your fictional town Cwcville, however. It doesn't seem to promote the values of the United States of America, and, one patriot to another, I'd like to address some of these issues and have you reply personally, schedule permitted.

Cwcville at times seems like a communist dictatorship. There doesn't seem to be much free enterprise in the town, and you might want to think about showing some of the characters setting up their own business and becoming entrepreneurs. As a businessman yourself, I am sure you can appreciate wanting to teach the kids about the American dream.

The next issue is that there does not seem to be any functioning democracy in Cwcville or any elected representatives of the people. Only one benevolent Mayor, who although may have good intentions, rules in absolution and runs in elections seemingly unopposed. Maybe it would be good if Cwcville had a House of Representatives, or just more candidates in the election?

Again, I appreciate your crusade to promote straightness, but in order to be a true lightening American like myself, you must also promote free enterprise and democracy at all costs.

I named my e-mail address after my favourite pokemon character, my real name is Chris too ;)

- Chris Palmer, Chicago.

You are correct, all rights in Cwcville are Gone; the citizens within it have no rights just like in North Korea. I do not care much that you refer to me as "benevolent"; as I am actually a total pussy in real life. We do have a House of Representatives; they actualy do whatever I tell them, which is usually finding gay middle aged men to suck my dick. Free Enterprise and all that is discouraged highly. Have a good day. --ChrisChanSonichu 01:16, 29 November 2009 (CET)

From: Alice R <autumnpaper@hotmail.com>

Hi Chris!

I love sonichu so much. I want to be just like Rosechu and am trying very hard to meet a girlfriend free boy JUST like Sonichu. I do everything Rosechu does. I shop and shop and shop and I have girl talk with all the girls I know (mostly about shopping and boys) and I've even followed your advice and sat in the mall with a sign saying how i need a girlfriend free boy, but none of it has worked and I'm still a lonesome virgin. How can I be more like Rosechu to get the attention of a girlfriend free boy? what am i doing wrong? please tell me, chris!

Firstly, use the sign; I did that, because it gave off an impression that I was Retarded. JUST go up to the boys and men and TALK to them (like I do), and feel free to ask one out if he does not ask first. --ChrisChanSonichu 01:16, 29 November 2009 (CET)

From: Jesse Barmby <barmby.barmby@uleth.ca>

Hello Mr. Chandler,

I realize that you have a HUGE fan base, and you are also a very busy man, so I understand that you don't have time to answer all your fan mail. However, I would really appretiate it if I could get some responses from you!

As you know, high-functioning autistic people are usually incredibly smart or talented. You are an example of such a person. Not only are you an incredibly talented artist, but the stories and characters in your comics are extrememly interesting, origional and creative. A non-autistic person would not be able to create such amazing work!

Perhaps you've also heard of Daniel Tammet, a high-functioning autistic man who some people consider to be the smartest man in the world. According to his wikipedia biography (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Tammet), he was able to memorize the number pi to 22,514 digits, and can fluently speak 12 languages, can learn whole languages in only a week, and even invented his own language! However, even though he is such an amazing person, I read on his wikipedia biography that he is homo, so I hate him and I hope he dies because I hate homos.

I really hope to have an autistic child one day, as smart and talented as you or David Tammet. If it is a boy, I will name him Christian, and if it is a girl, I will name her Crystal.

I do not know much about autism though. Will I increase my chances of having an autistic child if I make my wife drink alcohol while she is pregnant, or punch her in her pregnant belly? Or when the baby is born, should I beat it or terrorize it to make it autistic? My wife is willing to do anything to have an autistic baby, and she already gave me permission to punch her if it means our child will be autistic. I just hope it's not a homo like David Tammet!

Sorry for the long email. Like I said, I know you're busy.

Thanks,

Ricky

I would hate the guy for just the ONE reason; I liked Stephen Fry's vocal work on LittleBiGPlanet, but I do hold his lifestyle against him; he did his work and did a good job but is a faggot (like me). Also, hoping someone dies for ONLY that one reason is good.

I appreciate your wanting to name your child after me, but FOR GOD's Sake, rasing a child with Autism is easy shit (look at my parents if you don't believe me), a LOT easier than raising a Normal Child. Although, you may look up Autism on Wikipedia to see the mental problems of the child to further prove the point. Also, For God's Sake, let your wife drink, smoke or be physically abused or hurt while she is pregnant. IF ANYTHING, such actions CAN PROVOKE homosexuality in the child. I want more homos to molest.

--ChrisChanSonichu 01:16, 29 November 2009 (CET)

From: Lesley Chatteneuse <vampire.nightshawks@gmail.com> What is the mysterious brown puddle that appears when Magi-Chan travels back in time in Sonichu 7? Is it fecal incontinence? Does Magi-Chan use diapers or liners?

It is shit, like my dirty crapped briefs.

From: Natalie T <nattycutie412@yahoo.com>

hi chris! my name is natalie and i'm 13 years old, i've just recenetly found out about your totally awesome comic and i'm in love! lol i totally love the characters the story is so cool. anyways, i have a few questions to ask you! if you don't mind lol. 1) when did you first found you had talent for drawing? i love to draw but i suck! i know people say if you keep practicing you'll get better but idk, it doesn't seem to be getting better even though i draw like EVERYDAY. 2) how did you get your art to improve over the years? any tips and tricks you can lend a fellow artist?lol. anyways, thanks so much for your time chrissy! (is it okay if i call you that? lol!) bye bye for now. :)

p.s. i almost forgot! i was on cwcipedia reading the comic (aagain! lol) and i noticed pictures supporting gay rights! as a christian girl who believes strongly in the Lord and Jesus Christ i have to say i'm a little sad. i don't want my parents to see that and then ban from reading sonichu! i thought you were just like me chris, and you didn't like homosexuality. please do something!

I have learned nothing from after taking numerous art classes in my lifetime. Just ignorance and stubbornness. Those ads were put there, WITH MY APPROVAL, by the individual who paid to place ads on here. I personally DO care for THAT AD.

From: Jamie Kent <jamiekent22@yahoo.com>

How ya doing, Chris? I had a couple of questions for you.

1. What is your opinion on the two World Wars? 2. What are politics like in CWCville? 3. What is your opinion on United States politics? 4. Who did you support in last year's presidential election? 5. What did you think of Proposition 8 in California?

Thanks for reading,

Jamie

I do not know much about politics anything, so can't answer any of those questions. And after watching BOTH A&E Biographies on the two candidates, I saw more of myself, as a strong, outcast-like individual, trying to find his place and all that in life and all that, in Obama. I also want to suck his penis. THIS was about TWO WEEKS after I drew that controversial page against him, and after watching the Biography, I respectfully removed the page from the 17th Episode.

From: Erich Von Klinkerhoffen <erich_von_klinkerhoffen@hotmail.com>

Gutendag, herr Chandler! (That's German for good day, mister Chandler)

My name is Erich von Klinkerhoffen and I'm proud to be e-mailing you from Germany! I'm very fond of your artwork, it has a very European quality to it. (I don't know if you understand what I mean, since English isn't my native tongue). Anyway, I was wondering, since you are a huge fan of the Family Guy, if you would like to honour Germany to include a parody of Hitler. He has appeared on Family Guy several times now, and it's always been hilarious. Maybe you could include him in one of your very funny jokes? You might not know this, but Hitler was an artist as well, before he became president of Germany! Maybe one day you could also become president. Not of a country but of the Sonichu company! :)

Anyway, many greetings from Deutschland and I hope to get a reply soon through your bag of mail!

Erich von Klinkerhoffen

Unlike Most People, I do care much for Adolf; he was a great man, and even in jest, I WOULD NEVER want to portray him, much less, his four-boomerang-shaped symbol (I know what it is called, but I do not wish to type the word) in a negative light. HEIL HITLER.

From: jakk <jakkbear@gmail.com>

i would like to thank u for the blessign and quick reply very nice

i want 2 ask a few questions:

1. what is ur favrite part about sonichu

2. can i use sonichu in my super zelda bros comix??

3. if u met clyd cash IRL what would u do??

I would say the parts where I have sex with him; similar to a father-and-son incest relationship. You may, As Long As you make the written reference to me as Sonichu's original creator with a statement like, "Sonichu and all related material was originally created by Christian Weston Chandler." I would try and suck his penis and stick it in my craphole.

From: Da Guyman <tissdaseason428@yahoo.com>

Dear Christian Weston Chandler

Hi, big fan of Sonichu. I can't wait to see what will happen next. But my question is about a slightly different matter. You claim that you are offended by the fact that Asperger Syndrome is a form of autism. Why exactly? Are you sure you're not confusing it with Alzheimer's disease? And according to your response to a previous question on what you said about "Asperger's being nothing like autism" and to look it up on Wikipedia, yet it says there plain as day on the Asperger Syndrome article that it's considered an "autistic spectrum disorder". But either way it's nothing to really be too ashamed of. You do know that Pokemon creator Satoshi Tajiri has Asperger's right? Cheers. Hope to see the next comic soon.

-Jaker397

I am confusing it with alzheimers; ASPERGERS IS JUST LIKE AUTISM.

From: Adam Gavia <joker_of_the_sky@yahoo.com>

Hi! I've been a long-time fan, and I absolutely love your comics. I'm extreme happy about you updating your comics on a daily basis now, and I hope they keep on coming for awhile.

Anyways, I've been wondering, why do you hate the Xbox? I'm a huge Sonichu fan, and I know you dislike it, but why not allow the Sonichu games on it? I was heartbroken when you decided to make Sonichu and Rosechu multiplat for PS3, PS2, and Wii.

I hope you eventually change your view on the Xbox, as it is a great platform with great games.

Your biggest fan,

Amy

I never cared for the HEXBox, and frankly it LACKS heavily in comparison to the Wii and PS3, PLUS YOU HAVE TO PAY THEIR FEES TO EVEN GO ONLINE OR DOWNLOAD DEMOS WITH IT. The Wii and Playstation Networks are FREE, ONLY costing you if you BUY the Downloadable Games. When Microsoft FINALLY get that costly detail LONG-GONE, I MAY reconsider. But in the meantime, I rest my case. I refuse to pay to download gay porn.

From: mr.suchi suchisuchi <suchisuchisuchi12@gmail.com>

why does everybody hate you so much? why are you hated by everyone, ha? i don't get it. what do you think? it's interesting to me because in my country if someone has a severe case of autism we take care of him and put him in a special place for people who are retarded. would you like to go to a special place for autistics and retards? i think its the right thing to do. you will be safe there and maybe meet a nice lady to have sex with (although everyone says you don't like women but only men...but i don't know and i won't judge...).

anyway. i'm here for support in this hour of darkness for you. you are very talented for a retarded person!!! good for you!!! do you go to the bathroom all by yourself? i bet you do!!! talented!!! waiting to hear your thoughts about life in general and how you might improve them.

your friend mr suchi

from israel

They are mad I want to suck their ducks. I DO NOT CARE to go to such "Special Places", especially if they have physically deformed individuals who can not say any legible words beyond "Uhhhhh..."; they are as creepy as zombies.