Sonichu's News Dash Issue #7 (February, 2005)

Issue #7 January/February, 2004

Happy Valentines Day!

Tips for Finding Love, from the Experts

Take it from the lonesome man in Virginia who has been trying to find a Boyfriend-Free girl for over One year and Five months, with the Boyfriend Factor being infinitely high, all you lonesome saps have to summon up courage, or you won’t be able to get anywhere. So here are some tips from me, as well as noted givers of the 411:

(CWC) When a girl does acknowledge your existence, rather by a simple wave, or as extreme as a hug, forget the Boyfriend-Factor, summon your courage and talk to her. And be sure to ask her if she does have a Boyfriend.

(CWC) If she does have a Boyfriend, keep her name in mind, because she could help you hook up with a pretty Boyfriend-Free girl in the future.

(John Tesh) If you want to give her a gift right off the bat, give, or send, her a bouquet of flowers, other than the clichéd Roses, and no more. You’ll have plenty of time in the future to give her more.

(John Tesh) The right time to give her a gift, during your date, is during, of after, desert (especially if you made the desert for her yourself).

(CWC) If you are meeting her for the first time, just keep a cool head, and be yourself. But if you want a quick list of what to do, here’s my list, courtesy of the Sprung game for the Nintendo DS:

Introduce yourself: try to look serious on your face; do not smile big, and do not use a forceful voice tone.

Compliment her: on her hair or eyes.

Break the Ice with a joke: try not to use an offensive joke. Or, you can do what I do, if you can, just imitate good ol’ Donald Duck. Quack! Quack!

(Depending on the situation), offer to buy her a drink, or comment on a topic of interest (such as the weather).

Ask for her name: make it sound kind and fun. For example, you can say, “Do angels like you have names?” If she is offended by that, apologize and say that you thought it was a kind way of asking her name. ?

(I’d add this step) Ask her about herself: where her family came from, favorite movie or color, and other fun basic things like that. And try to make the conversation fun, because the more fun she has with you, the more likely you are to get her phone number.

Ask for her phone number: if she does not give it to you now, just give her time, and just hang with her, and she’ll give it to you.

Ask her for a date: make it immediate, like after work or school. An immediate date shows real interest, or desperation.

(CWC) Most importantly, DO NOT RUSH Her. You do not want her to feel pressured into a relationship, because then she’ll dump you faster than Sonichu running a mile. Give her time; it’s not like you all are going to get married right away, it never is.

(John Tesh) Your date is very important. If you take her to a party, then you probably feel like you need the support of your friends in front of your girlfriend. If you take her to a movie, you are likely to want her to yourself, and sneak a smooch in the dark. But if you take her to dinner, then you are showing real interest, because you are most able to converse over a good meal.

(John Tesh) When you want to watch a movie with her, you should pick a romance flick. Since you and she are less likely to feel romantic during any other movie category, like action or horror. And hey, she will most appreciate the love you show by sharing the chick flick, because it shows that you care about her feelings.

New Rosechu from Outer Space

Recently, a black Rosechu came down from outer space in a fashionable space ship. She came down onto our Earth wreaking havoc by abducting the Sonichu Heroes. But in conjunction with Chris-Chan Sonichu, the Rosechus of Earth rescued all of them. In an interview with Magi-Chan Sonichu, he said, “I’ve been communicating with her through telekinesis, and she sounded very lonesome. She said that she was a female Pikachu who was hit by a shining light from the Chaos Rainbow.” The Chaos Rainbow was the rainbow made when Super Sonic collided with the Pikachu, on that fateful day in Station Square years ago. And when interviewed, the black Rosechu, who named herself, Silvana, she stated, “I abducted the Sonichus, because it was very lonesome on the moon, there were NO aliens there at all. And when I communicated with Magi-Chan, I was inspired to build my spacecraft with the remains of the shuttle that put me there in the first place.”

Poetry Corner

Sonichu’s Ode to Rosechu
Written for Sonichu by Christian W. Chandler
2/10/2003

Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a rose,
though a Zapbud is the flower that heals your woes.

You shock me with your electrifying radiance,
If I evolve into your knight, I will protect you with my lance.

Speed makes no difference, though you are slower than I,
You dance in a field with such grace and style. Sigh…

I will run great distances for thee,
for I can run very fast and never get a strained knee.

Rosey, as often as birds tweet,
will you be my lovely heartsweet?

Personals

Christian W. Chandler is 22 and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:

*18-22 years of age. *Does not already have a boyfriend. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *Average or Slender body type. *Does NOT smoke and/or drink alcohol. *5’ or taller. *Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area. *White. *Average to High income. *Drives a vehicle. *Happy, Positive Personality. *A Caring girl. *She has to be pretty.

If you wish to learn more about Christian C, look up his
"SonichuCWC" profile on Match.com.

*Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful, person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around Piedmont Virginia Community College, or Fashion Square Shopping Center. When getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll be wearing the Sonichu Medallion.

*All Sonichu material is Copyrighted March, 2000-2004 by. Christian Weston Chandler.