Issue #7 January/February, 2004
Happy Valentines Day!
Tips for Finding Love, from the Experts
Take it from the lonesome man in Virginia who has been trying to find a Boyfriend-Free girl for over One year and Five months, with the Boyfriend Factor being infinitely high, all you lonesome saps have to summon up courage, or you won’t be able to get anywhere. So here are some tips from me, as well as noted givers of the 411:
Recently, a black Rosechu came down from outer space in a fashionable space ship. She came down onto our Earth wreaking havoc by abducting the Sonichu Heroes. But in conjunction with Chris-Chan Sonichu, the Rosechus of Earth rescued all of them. In an interview with Magi-Chan Sonichu, he said, “I’ve been communicating with her through telekinesis, and she sounded very lonesome. She said that she was a female Pikachu who was hit by a shining light from the Chaos Rainbow.” The Chaos Rainbow was the rainbow made when Super Sonic collided with the Pikachu, on that fateful day in Station Square years ago. And when interviewed, the black Rosechu, who named herself, Silvana, she stated, “I abducted the Sonichus, because it was very lonesome on the moon, there were NO aliens there at all. And when I communicated with Magi-Chan, I was inspired to build my spacecraft with the remains of the shuttle that put me there in the first place.”
Sonichu’s Ode to Rosechu
Written for Sonichu by Christian W. Chandler
Oh, Rosechu, you are as beautiful as a
though a Zapbud is the flower that heals your woes.
You shock me with your electrifying radiance,
If I evolve into your knight, I will protect you with my lance.
Speed makes no difference, though you are
slower than I,
You dance in a field with such grace and style. Sigh…
I will run great distances for thee,
for I can run very fast and never get a strained knee.
Rosey, as often as birds tweet,
will you be my lovely heartsweet?
Christian W. Chandler is 22 and single seeking a Single Female Companion of the following qualities:
*18-22 years of age. *Does not already have a boyfriend. *Single. *Blonde or Brunette *Average or Slender body type. *Does NOT smoke and/or drink alcohol. *5’ or taller. *Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville area. *White. *Average to High income. *Drives a vehicle. *Happy, Positive Personality. *A Caring girl. *She has to be pretty.
If you wish to learn more about Christian
C, look up his
"SonichuCWC" profile on Match.com.
*Christian is a very shy, and very thoughtful,
person, and will only accept person-to-person encounters (No E-Mails or
Phone Calls). So if you are interested, he can be found around Piedmont
Virginia Community College, or Fashion Square Shopping Center. When
getting his attention, approach and say hi to him. Do NOT flirt from
a distance; he will not be able to notice. To find Christian, he’ll
be wearing the Sonichu Medallion.
*All Sonichu material is Copyrighted March, 2000-2004 by. Christian Weston Chandler.